Question:What place has criticism in relationship? What is the difference between destructive and constructive criticism? 问：批判在关系中有着怎样的位置？破坏性的批判和树立性的批判，差别在哪里？ Krishnamurti: First of all, why do we criticize? Is it in order to understand? Or is it merely a nagging process? If I criticize you, do I understand you? Does understanding come through judgement? If I want to comprehend, if I want to understand not superficially but deeply the whole significance of my relationship to you, do I begin to criticize you? Or am I aware of this relationship between you and me, silently observing it - not projecting my opinions, criticisms, judgements, identifications or condemnations, but silently observing what is happening? 克：首先，我们为什么批判？是为了了解？还是地道是在唠叨？假如我批判你，那是在了解你吗？了解来自评判吗？假如我想了解，假如我不只想要一种泛泛的了解，而是想深度了解你我关系的全部意义，我会开端批判你吗？还是我会察觉你我的关系，静静地察看它——不投射我的观念、批判、判别、认同或指责，而是静静地察看正在发作的一切？ And if I do not criticize, what happens? One is apt to go to sleep, is one not? Which does not mean that we do not go to sleep if we are nagging. Perhaps that becomes a habit and we put ourselves to sleep through habit. Is there a deeper, wider understanding of relationship, through criticism? It doesn't matter whether criticism is constructive or destructive - that is irrelevant, surely. Therefore the question is: "What is the necessary state of mind and heart that will understand relationship?" 我们要是不批判，那会怎样？我们会堕入沉睡，不是吗？这并不表示我们唠叨的时分就不会睡着。或许那会变成一个习气，经过习气我们就催眠了自己。经过批判，我们会对关系产生更深、更广的了解吗？批判是破坏性还是树立性，并不重要——那显然是相对而言的。因而问题就是：“头脑和心灵要处于怎样的状态，才干取得对关系的了解？” What is the process of understanding? How do we understand something? How do you understand your child, if you are interested in your child? You observe, don't you? You watch him at play, you study him in his different moods; you don't project your opinion on to him. You don't say he should be this or that. You are alertly watchful, aren't you?, actively aware. Then, perhaps, you begin to understand the child. If you are constantly criticizing, constantly injecting your own particular personality, your idiosyncrasies, your opinions, deciding the way he should or should not be, and all the rest of it, obviously you create a barrier in that relationship. 了解的过程是怎样的？我们怎样了解事物？你怎样了解你的孩子，假如你对自己的孩子感兴味的话？你会察看，不是吗？你在他游戏时察看他，研讨他各种心情下的状态；你不会将你的观念投射在他身上。你不会说他应该这样应该那样。你会敏锐地察看，主动地觉知，不是吗？然后，你或许就开端了解那个孩子了。假如你不停地批判，不时地灌输你自己的个性、你的特质、你的观念，为他做出各种应该不应该的决议，如此等等，显然你就在关系中制造了障碍。 Unfortunately most of us criticize in order to shape, in order to interfere; it gives us a certain amount of pleasure, a certain gratification, to shape something - the relationship with a husband, child or whoever it may be. You feel a sense of power in it, you are the boss, and in that there is a tremendous gratification. Surely through all that process there is no understanding of relationship. There is mere imposition, the desire to mould another to the particular pattern of your idiosyncrasy, your desire, your wish. All these prevent - do they not? - the understanding of relationship. 不幸的是，大多数人批判就是为了塑造，为了干预。与丈夫的关系，与孩子的关系，不论与谁，在关系中塑造他人，给了我们某种乐趣、某种满足。你在其中享用某种权益，你就是老板，这当中有着庞大的满足。显然，那整个过程中，不存在对关系的了解。那当中只需强加，只需塑造他人的愿望，让他人契合你的特质、你的需求、你的等候。这一切都障碍了对关系的了解，不是吗？ Then there is self-criticism. To be critical of oneself, to criticize, condemn, or justify oneself - does that bring understanding of oneself? When I begin to criticize myself, do I not limit the process of understanding, of exploring? Does introspection, a form of self-criticism, unfold the self? What makes the unfoldment of the self possible? To be constantly analytical, fearful, critical - surely that does not help to unfold. 接下来还有自我批判。对自己不满，批判自己、指责自己，或者为自己辩护——那能让你了解自己吗？假如我开端批判自己，不就限制了探求和了解的过程？自我反省——即一种自我批判的方式，那披露了自我吗？什么能让自我披露？不时地剖析、恐惧、批判——显然那无助于披露。 What brings about the unfoldment of the self so that you begin to understand it is the constant awareness of it without any condemnation, without any identification. There must be a certain spontaneity; you cannot be constantly analysing it, disciplining it, shaping it. This spontaneity is essential to understanding. If I merely limit, control, condemn, then I put a stop to the movement of thought and feeling, do I not? It is in the movement of thought and feeling that I discover - not in mere control. 不时地察觉自我，不带丝毫指责、丝毫认同，那才干披露自我，才干开端了解自我。必须有某种自发性；你不能不时剖析它、规训它、塑造它。这种自发性关于了解是必要的。假如我只是限制、控制、责备，就阻断了思想和情感的活动，不是吗？只需在思想和情感的活动中，我才干有所发现——只是控制是不会有发现的。 When one discovers, then it is important to find out how to act about it. If I act according to an idea, according to a standard, according to an ideal, then I force the self into a particular pattern. In that there is no understanding, there is no transcending. If I can watch the self without any condemnation, without any identification, then it is possible to go beyond it. That is why this whole process of approximating oneself to an ideal is so utterly wrong. Ideals are homemade gods and to conform to a self-projected image is surely not a release. 当我们有所发现，接下来重要的就是，弄分明怎样对此采取行动。假如我依据某个观念、某种规范、某个理想作出行动，那就是在强行让自己契合某个方式。那当中不存在了解，不存在超越。假如我能察看自己而没有丝毫责备、丝毫认同，那就有超越的可能。让自己接近某个理想的做法是完整错误的，缘由就在这里。理想是人类手工打造的上帝，去遵照一个自我投射的意象，显然不是解放。 Thus there can be understanding only when the mind is silently aware, observing - which is arduous, because we take delight in being active, in being restless, critical, in condemning, justifying. That is our whole structure of being; and, through the screen of ideas, prejudices, points of view, experiences, memories, we try to understand. Is it possible to be free of all these screens and so understand directly? Surely we do that when the problem is very intense; we do not go through all these methods - we approach it directly. 那么，只需静静地觉知和察看时，才会有了解——这并不容易，由于我们乐于生动，乐于不安、不满，乐于责备、辩护。那就是我们存在的整个结构；理念、成见、观念、阅历和记忆，我们试图经过这种种的屏障去了解。可不能够解脱这一切屏障，直接了解呢？显然，问题十分紧迫的时分，我们就会那样做。我们跳过那一切的措施——直接处置。 The understanding of relationship comes only when this process of self-criticism is understood and the mind is quiet. If you are listening to me and are trying to follow, with not too great an effort, what I wish to convey, then there is a possibility of our understanding each other. But if you are all the time criticizing, throwing up your opinions, what you have learned from books, what somebody else has told you and so on and so on, then you and I are not related, because this screen is between us. 只需明白了自我批判的过程，头脑宁静下来后，我们才会了解关系。假如你在听我讲话，你在用心了解我想要传达的意义，没有太费力的话，那我们就有可能了解彼此。但假如你不时在批判，不时在抛出你自己的观念，抛出你从书上学的，他人通知你的，如此等等，那我们就没有产生关系，由于你我之间横亘着一道屏障。 If we are both trying to find out the issues of the problem, which lie in the problem itself, if both of us are eager to go to the bottom of it, find the truth of it, discover what it is - then we are related. Then your mind is both alert and passive, watching to see what is true in this. Therefore your mind must be extraordinarily swift, not anchored to any idea or ideal, to any judgement, to any opinion that you have consolidated through your particular experiences. Understanding comes, surely, when there is the swift pliability of a mind which is passively aware. Then it is capable of reception, then it is sensitive. A mind is not sensitive when it is crowded with ideas, prejudices, opinions, either for or against. 假如我们两人都试图弄分明问题，答案就藏在问题当中；假如我们两个都热切地去寻根究底，去找到事情的真相，去发现到底怎样回事——那么我们就产生了关系。那时，你的头脑既警惕又被动，为了明白事情的真相而察看着。因而你的头脑必须相当矫捷，你不能够固守任何观念或理想、任何判别、任何你在特定的阅历中强化的观念。显然，假如头脑有着矫捷的弹性，中止着被动的察觉，了解就会发作。然后，它就有接纳的才干，就会敏于感知。假如头脑充溢着理念、成见、观念，不论是同意的还是反对的观念，它都是不敏感的。 To understand relationship, there must be a passive awareness - which does not destroy relationship. On the contrary, it makes relationship much more vital, much more significant. Then there is in that relationship a possibility of real affection; there is a warmth, a sense of nearness, which is not mere sentiment or sensation. If we can so approach or be in that relationship to everything, then our problems will be easily solved - the problems of property, the problems of possession, because we are that which we possess. The man who possesses money is the money. The man who identifies himself with property is the property or the house or the furniture. Similarly with ideas or with people; when there is possessiveness, there is no relationship. 要了解关系，必须有一种被动的察觉——那不会破坏关系。相反，它会使关系变得更有生机、更有意义。于是，关系就可能有真正的心意，一种暖和，一种接近，那并不是多愁善感或心情化。假如我们能够这样接近，能够与万物有那样的关系，我们的问题就会迎刃而解——财物的问题、占有的问题，由于我们就是我们所占有的东西——占有钱的人就是那些钱；认同财物的人就是那些财物，或是房子、家具；认同理念、认同他人的人，也是同样的状况。假如存在占有，就不存在关系。 Most of us possess because we have nothing else if we do not possess. We are empty shells if we do not possess, if we do not fill our life with furniture, with music, with knowledge, with this or that. And that shell makes a lot of noise and that noise we call living; and with that we are satisfied. When there is a disruption, a breaking away of that, then there is sorrow, because then you suddenly discover yourself as you are - an empty shell, without much meaning. To be aware of the whole content of relationship is action, and from that action there is a possibility of true relationship, a possibility of discovering its great depth, its great significance and of knowing what love is. 大多数人都在占有，由于假如我们不占有，就一无一切。假如不占有，假如不把我们的生活填满家具、音乐、学问、这个那个，我们就是个空壳。那个空壳制造出很多噪声，我们却称之为生活，并对此心称心足。当空壳呈现瓦解、分别时，就呈现了悲伤，由于那时你忽然发现了自己的真面—— 一个空壳，没有什么意义。察觉关系的全部内容即行动，从那个行动动身，就可能树立真正的关系，发现其特殊的深度和意义，并明了什么是爱。 The First and Last Freedom, 'On Criticism' 《最初和最终的自由》之“论批判” 冥 冥思坊2017年下半年会员正在招募中， 思 了解冥思坊，请点击查看： 坊 本周冥思坊读书会，主题：做生活的艺术家 详情及报名方式，请点击：
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